Hello 2020!!!

How are you all?

I know, I know…😬

I’ve been away for more than month, I guess, (which is quite unusual for me) but it does not really matter, right? Because I’m back, and here, even if I’m still exhausted from all this introspection I’ve been doing lately. haha.

And hello new decade! Haha.

Imagine how much time has passed since we all graduated from college in 2010, right? (Yes, I’m talking to my batch mates. haha. gawd).

And suffice it to say, the decade has been long and winding, and long and winding, and long and winding, ahhh yes.

But I guess, we all really need to go through all that circuitousness, and complexity, and ‘long and winding’-ness for us to be alive and transformed how many times over.

As Pope Francis told Pope Benedict XVI in the ‘Two Popes’:
“I’ve changed.”
“No. You’ve compromised,” argued Pope Benedict.
“No, I’ve changed. They are two different things.” Pope Francis said with so much certainty.

I guess that’s what the decade has done mainly— changed me, over and over, and over.😆

And I can only be grateful to have grown more happy, more at peace, more patient, and more gracious of my here and now.

I still have lofty dreams, and I still work hard for them, but I’ve become more forgiving of life, and more accepting of how it unfolds.

Time does that to you, I guess. And that whole change thing, grows on you, really.
And you just wake up, one sunny-rainy day (they say a Tikbalang couple is getting married when it’s a sunny-rainy day), and you’re not the same person anymore as the day before, or the day before the day before.

Sigh.

I’ve been trying to write the past few days too, and forgive me if this is bland. I’m still trying to get the usual writing energy flow back.

I think I’ve channeled most of my energy, lately, thinking about 2020 and how scared I am for so many things, & how hopeful I am for so many other things too. And as for anybody with a generally phlegmatic persona like me, it’s tiring to feel so many things, all at the same time. It’s tedious and indulgent, and unnecessarily exhausting .

But to feel is to live, I’ve realized.

Yep. To feel is to be alive. And what a time to be alive, eh? With climate change, and war, and the internet, and so many things going awry.
But still, you have to think that all we have is now. 🤷🏻‍♀️

So yeah, let me leave you with some reflections from Ms. Jia Tolentino, my new spirit perzen, as I wait for my own inspirations to rain on me. And I truly, truly know that when the words come, they will be beautiful.

Happy new year, my friends.
Sending you lots of light and love. ✨✨✨