so i know i’m supposed to be reading school stuff now. but yeah, i’m taking an everything-else-unrelated-to-school break instead. haha.

after all, i’m supposed to be reading all my life, i’ve finally figured out, so a short break would not really matter, right? 😊

*sigh*

the past days have been all too passing – deadlines, readings, deadlines, readings, deadlines, readings and dreamily walking around. as i have really really tried not getting in touch with the crazy heart.

which reminds me… i wonder where the hell it is now. haha. i’m sure it is somewhere else, far away, on a grand vacation (with beer and fireworks), having the time of its life. ahh good for it.

and yes of course i let it off, poor thing had a grand year it said. and what do you know, life is definitely better now. 😉

and anyway, so it’s valentine’s month.
hurray! *confetti* 🎉 🎊 haha.
but don’t get me wrong. i’m not being sarcastic here, okay. i do not have anything against love, really.

and i’m actually a self proclaimed hopeless romantic, for all you know. 😁 💖

well, not necessarily the type who is waiting for some “i was born to be charming” prince charming.

but rather one who still reads true love novels,
hoping she could one random day go sit and talk (under the starry starry sky) with a really nice friend who can actually make her laugh, and then they’d talk all night long and then all month long and so on…
and he’d laugh at her dorky jokes, and then he’d let her write him letters and poems and songs,
and he’d let her sing for him and he’d hug her and write her letters too and sing with her,
and he’d let her be her mad self and be okay with it and then they’d have a nice-happy-crazy every after.

ahh yeah whatever. haha 😜

so getting back to ‘don’t get me wrong’,
i’ve seen a lot of good loving around actually, that’s why i have nothing against it —
my grandparents, my parents, aunts and uncles, cousins, good friends…
there are really so many beautiful stories of love worth celebrating everywhere.
and you’d see it (TRUE LOVE, all caps) etched on their foreheads, very much visible in the little gestures and sparkly eye contacts and the gentle pats on the backs and the shared smiles that you know for sure only friggin’ true love can bring. ☺

yes yes, it’s nice, i know.

but i’ve sort of acquiesced to the fact that perhaps the gene just skipped me. hahaha. or maybe i don’t have the luck for it or my stars are weirdly misaligned for such stuff and i’m just meant to write about the most wonderful love stories of this universe at third person view.

“awwh, don’t say that” yeah, stop it, i can hear you.

but don’t feel bad for me, please. because i have not for a moment lost faith in love. 😉

and if you ask me, here is what i think of love;

love is something you find or finds you unexpectedly,
something that does not fit even your own set of stereotypes,
it is something that transforms you,
that makes you discover the things you never thought you were actually capable of,
it is something that makes you understand even when there’s a whole lot of chaos around you,
something that makes sacrifices worthwhile and meaningful,
it is something that teaches you things you never think you’d ever learn,
something that renders you vulnerable and invincible, all at the same time,
love, it makes you believe, it makes you hope, it makes you take courage,
it is something that fills you up, twice and thrice all over, even when you think you’ve been all too full already,
but i guess it is something that comes only once in your life…
that’s why you call it love, because there can’t be one too many.

i don’t know how it would be for me though. haha.
maybe i have found it already or maybe i haven’t,
i would not have known.
or maybe i should just make it all up in my head like a patronus, (i make so many things up in my head anyway)
but, yeah, i have stopped looking.
i can see it everywhere anyway.
and whether or not i have found it and it just slipped away or i’m meant find it sooner or later or not at all and perhaps in the next lifetime instead,
i’m all too sure i won’t ever lose faith in love.

because, despite everything, i’d still and i’d always like to believe —

that love, yes love, it makes the world go ’round. 😊

happy hearts’ month, friends! 💋